I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
