SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize