Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I am one with the molecules
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
