if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
