My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
