Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
