Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
