'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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