Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
