I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
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I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
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And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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