But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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