whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
