dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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