Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
