So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
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I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
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I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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