I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
