no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
