This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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