I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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