shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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