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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way

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• (716): View more from New York

  Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (925): View more from California

  don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement

  (510): View more from California

  big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.

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• (347): View more from New York

  They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me

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• (575): View more from New Mexico

  I have a broken liver

  (1-575): View more from New Mexico

  I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (760): View more from California

  Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina

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