this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast