Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was

  (734): View more from Michigan

  you're 26.

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  (313): I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was (734): you're 26. http://tfl.nu/eh0f
  Replies (10) Good night (871) Bad night (2601)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.

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  (405): And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch. http://tfl.nu/1xo5
  Replies (12) Good night (723) Bad night (1753)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts

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  (319): Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts http://tfl.nu/snvl
  Replies (51) Good night (5054) Bad night (922)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.

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  (785): if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone. http://tfl.nu/lyyb
  Replies (31) Good night (863) Bad night (4709)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho

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  (519): your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho http://tfl.nu/j100
  Replies (3) Good night (2898) Bad night (1226)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....

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  (248): Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs.... http://tfl.nu/1yzr
  Replies (19) Good night (2828) Bad night (1086)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake

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  (514): Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake http://tfl.nu/tx6v
  Replies (10) Good night (1939) Bad night (1662)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?

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  (253): at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito? http://tfl.nu/ycrz
  Replies (4) Good night (1301) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.

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  (406): I would watch the shit out of some full house right now. http://tfl.nu/5ksj
  Replies (6) Good night (2068) Bad night (558)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.

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  (512): I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas. http://tfl.nu/ufwf
  Replies (28) Good night (4003) Bad night (611)
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...

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  (228): how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it... http://tfl.nu/36tz
  Replies (5) Good night (661) Bad night (850)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours

  (301): View more from Maryland

  ........yyyyyyeah that's me

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  (814): There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours (301): ........yyyyyyeah that's me http://tfl.nu/xtm1
  Replies (4) Good night (1464) Bad night (472)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry

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  (919): That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry http://tfl.nu/76an
  Replies (2) Good night (846) Bad night (306)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.

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  (847): So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real (847): Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone. http://tfl.nu/mou5
  Replies (3) Good night (513) Bad night (255)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off

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  (480): unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off http://tfl.nu/u622
  Replies (0) Good night (200) Bad night (397)

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