i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
