I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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