Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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