Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
