i wish my penis had a tongue
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
