my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
