I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
