the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
