the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize