this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
