I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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