Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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