People with herpes should wear stickers.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
