I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
