Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
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I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
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Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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