Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
