I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
