you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
