well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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