hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
