Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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