VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
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Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
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Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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