you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
NoShamevember. You game?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
