Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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