I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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