i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I checked into jail on foursquare
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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