I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
