O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
