What did we do last night that was yellow?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
