my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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