There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
