My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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