Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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