i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
