Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
