i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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