We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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